Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself
Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself
Teens have changing bodies, and a lot of pressure to look and be a certain someone. This can be both good and bad, however, in many instances it can take a toll on their personal self image. Teens often have warped body images. The following are some tips for encouraging a healthy body image:
Help them create their own style: In many instances your teen is going to have an unhealthy body image because they see clothes that someone skinnier, or more curvy, or more buff, or taller can wear, and they do not look the same in them. So, help your child love their body by finding clothing and a style that works for them. They are never going to have a positive self image if they are trying to look good in clothes that do not flatter their body.
Do not let them debase themselves: One of the best things you can do for your teen when it comes to their body image is never allow them to put themselves down in your presence. Set firm rules about it. If you hear your teen say they are fat, or that they have ugly freckles, or that they are plain, or that their hair is too stringy, or that their legs are too hairy, or whatever they complain about, stop them dead in their tracks. Anytime you hear your teen say something they do not like about their body, make them tell you five things that they do. They have to know that complaining about their body, and hating themselves is not okay with you. Be strict about it, and be sure to tell them things that you love about them any time you hear them complain.
Talk about what appearance means: When your child is struggling with their body image, it is important to talk to them about what appearance and body image means. Help them to understand that images are different to different people. What one person likes, another may not. Just like you may be more attracted to blondes, than brunettes. Appearance is in the eye of the beholder, so your child needs to stop trying to make themselves look better for others, and simply make their body what will please them. Once your child understand this, body image, and having a more positive feeling about their own body will be easier.
Be a positive role model: If you want your teen to have a positive, healthy, body image, your best means of encouragement is to have one yourself. If your teen constantly hears you talk about dieting, and remaking yourself, wanting a better stomach, or whiter teeth, or whatever it may be, they will start feeling the same way. They will find that no matter what they look like, or how great their body is, it is not good enough. So, be careful to be positive about your own body, and never put yourself down in front of them, or it will give them permission to do the same about their own body. So, encourage a healthy body image through example. If you do not have a healthy body image, then fake it in front of your child.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
How to calm a baby
Playgroups don’t always go well
Playgroups don’t always go well
Playgroups are social gatherings with moms and their kids, that allow the kids to play with other children around their same age, and moms to socialize. They are often held at the park, or at someone’s home, and can be a lot of fun. Despite the fun involved and the fact that playgroups are sort of a rite of passage for mothers, there are some pitfalls.
One of the pitfalls many mothers recognize with playgroups is that often it is more for the moms than it is for the kids. This often results in the moms socializing and the kids are not being watched as well. Many a parent has gone home from playgroup with a child who has a scratch, a bump, a diaper that has been dirty for a long time, etc. When the moms start talking, they tend to neglect their children. Even if you go as a mom who watches your child well, if other moms are not watching theirs, it can mean your kid gets hit or scratched by someone’s child, and they do not do anything about it. So, if you intend to go to a playgroup, try to find one where the moms will socialize, which is important, but watching kids is the first priority.
Another of the common pitfalls of a playgroup is that it is a prime place for germs to spread. Basically, you can’t control whether or not another mom brings their kid to playgroup sick. In some cases, a mom will crave the social interaction so much that she won’t consider that her child has a cold, had the flu a few days before, or any other illness. This means that your child could be getting sick because someone else did not consider their child’s germs. Because the whole point of a playgroup is to get moms out of the house, and get kids interacting, it often leads to people coming no matter what, with sick kids, with ornery kids, etc. this is not a good situation to put your child into. So, there is a good chance your kid will be at risk. Obviously this is not always the case, and you can find good playgroups where everyone is really respectful of how their child’s health could affect your child’s.
One of the biggest pitfalls of a playgroup is that your child is either going to thrive or drown, there is not much in between. Kids tend to gang up when in larger groups, and your child could be the one being picked on. The problem with playgroups is that generally some kids will thrive, and others will wilt. This is especially true of already shy children. So, if your child is not an aggressive personality, it could actually make them more introverted then they already are. Of course, in some instances a playgroup can help your child to blossom and open up because they are exposed to new things, but you will need to choose your playgroup carefully if you do not want to make your child even less social than they currently are.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
Parenting on the View
First five years of being a parent
First five years of being a parent
Providing the child the most optimal environment for developing his foundation for life can be a daunting period. You will not succeed. You will face obstacles seemingly out of your control, violence on TV as well as overwhelming propaganda, the limiting factor of the school system, the child and their piers and your short comings just to name a few.
One thing for sure is the best thing you can equip the child with for living life is for them to get that the measurement of success in life is in the amount of joy experienced. That is the condition the parents can influence their family to pursue. This is the greatest gift that can be instilled in children by any adult.
It is critical in my view that children have the self confidence that is strong enough to overcome the oftentimes brutal effects the institution of forced schooling can have on the child. The range of quality schools varies tremendously and generally speaking there are but a few that are enlightened enough to provide the kind of environment we are discussing here. Compulsitory schooling by nature is limiting not expansive. If a child leaves school with a sense of himself displaying all the confidence and enthusiasm for a satisfying and fulfilling life, the experience was worthwhile. This article isn’t about schools however; it is about providing some insight into the necessity of putting and keeping in place for the first five years of a child life the primary conditions for successful living.
You can not hide your child from all the elements of life that will be encountered, because that is part of life. Surprise will always be there. But you can assist a child in understanding the principles that can enable them to face any experience in a way that leaves them stronger in their sense of who they are, not less. You will make mistakes no matter what you do. And the advice you would give your child when they make a mistake in life will be by the way you handle the mistakes you make with them. For they learn by example. Children learn how ‘be’ by their observation of how others are being, especially their parents. How you ‘be’ matters more than you know.
Remember this, the body is a multi-sensory organism, and even as an infant, it is interpreting of over 400 billion pieces of data per second. That is difficult to comprehend. Based on the conclusions it has made to date, its beliefs and assumptions about life, the brain then is processing one hundred thousand chemicals sending them to the cells of the body. The point is you are incapable of fooling the child in terms of what it is reading in your behavior around them. If you are being inauthentic they will know. Even if they are not capable of reading you intellectually, they will read you emotionally. If the child learns that seeking happiness is the greatest pursuit, they will have learned it because they observed that you lived your life that way.
Okay, here is the good news. If our aim is to be joyful in life, we will have taught our children the most important and fundamental purpose of life. The natural unfolding will be the continuing discovery of what works to have a great life. The child and parent will discover along the way, everything that is necessary to live a life that allows all their dreams to come to pass. Happiness and joy is a state or condition in which freedom, no resistance, and love reign. It obeys the law of attraction as an absolute. It abides by the teaching, ‘do unto others as you would have them to undo you’, but never at the expense of your own happiness in life.
Long before I had my children I remember saying I wasn’t going to raise my mine the way I was raised. Matter of fact I’ve heard quite a few parents utter those words. Age has made me wiser. And for the most part I didn’t, but that didn’t mean that the influence of my own childhood didn’t somehow shape the father I became. No matter how your childhood was for you, it affords you the insight on how you’ll choose to be when you embark on the adventure of parenthood. And of course if you are about to or if you are already raising your children, this is only the beginning. It can and should be the most enjoyable ‘adventure’ of your life. It is kind of an adventure in that you only get to enjoy it as it unfolds. The best advice I could give parents in raising their children is to bring joy to every moment that you possibly can. It is in joy that the child creates the most optimal foundation of self love. Those first five years are so critical, it’s immeasurable.
Of course every year thereafter is critical as well but the child is the deliberate creator of his or her own story. And doing their next five years having become familiar with previous will be of great assistance. A low self esteem plays a difficult burden on the years in front of anyone. If you can be the best parent you can for the first 5 years, no doubt you will have trained yourself long enough to continue being that way. You are only teaching yourself really.
Just another note in this vast topic the most brilliant awareness information I have found for parenting is in the study of the law of attraction. Affirm the best in your child every time you can and find the best interpretations for the rest. Never emphasize apparent fault but look for aspects that work.
If you understand about the power of directing your emotions in a particular kind of way, I invite you to visit and learn about the iCap.
http://www.insightsforworkability.com
Biofeedback has advanced beyond our imagination. You can discover and manage your emotions such as to seek and discover more joy and happiness than you can imagine. And because of the personal computer, the cost is affordable and the advances have been remarkably pleasing.
Stop by when you can.
Leon Cautillo, Author/Instructor
Parenting on the View
Stop Crying by Going Outside
When parents discuss how much media they allow their children, the answers vary wildly. Some parents have very strict time restrictions on their children’s media viewing while others give their children more control over the time they spend on media. How do you know when your child is getting too much media? One mom knew she needed to allow less video game time when her 7-year-old son started not wanting play outside or do things with the family preferring his video game instead. He was so attached to playing his video game that he often pitched a fit when he was told the game had to go off. His games didn’t have a good way to save the game for later so he was reluctant to stop playing and lose his place in the game. She decided to reduce his video game playing to one hour twice a week. She started giving him a 10 minute warning before his hour was up. When the 10 minutes were up, he could either choose to shut the game off or she would turn the power off. It only took a couple times of turning the power off to get him to shut the game down in time. What are signs that digital usage is becoming a problem? If your children are exhibiting these types of behaviors, it’s time to think about reducing the time they spend on media: • Spending less and less time with family and friends If you feel your child is addicted to video games and will react extremely to having limits set, it is wise to seek help from a professional counselor or psychologist. What do the experts recommend? Hilarie Cash, psychotherapist and co-author of Video Games & Your Kids, makes the following recommendations for personal screen time (computer, TV, video games). This time does not include computer time needed for homework. • Under 2-years-old: no screen time She also recommends no TV, internet or gaming consoles in children’s rooms. The primary problem with having these devices in children’s bedrooms is that parents have more difficulty monitoring what’s going on. Won’t it be difficult to set limits? It can be very hard to set limits around digital entertainment. These digital devices keep our children content while we benefit from some free time. However, when we realize our children’s media usage is having a negative impact on them, we need to set some limits despite our children’s protesting. With older children, it can help to explain why we’re concerned about the time they’re spending on digital entertainment. Engaging them in deciding what reasonable limits should be set may help them in sticking to those limits. We may also need to change our own behavior so that we are modeling reasonable digital media usage. While this won’t be easy, it will provide the time to try other activities. Perhaps this will be the summer your family discovers how much fun it is to go biking together! Kathy Slattengren is a noted parenting speaker, trainer and founder of Priceless Parenting. Priceless Parenting provides an online parenting class which teaches effective discipline techniques for positively dealing with misbehavior. To receive regular parenting tips, sign up for the Priceless Parenting monthly newsletter.
Stop Crying by Going Outside
Keeping your kids away from the electronics
• Difficulty focusing on the present moment due to craving video game or cellphone
• Developing health issues such as Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, eye strain, weight gain, backaches
• Withdrawing from sports, hobbies and social interactions
• Losing sleep due to gaming, texting
• Acting irritable or discontent when not using digital items
• Declining grades in school, missing school
• Talking and thinking obsessively about the digital activity
• Denying or minimizing any negative consequences
• Preschool: 1 – 2 hours/day
• Elementary: 2 hours/day
• Junior/Senior High: 2 – 3 hours/day
Teaching your kids to talk softer
Teaching your kids to talk softer
Many times parents are concerned with how loud their child speaks when the child is talking to them. It can be especially challenging for parents to know what to do and how to do it when their child’s voice volume is just too loud!
Although it is common for children to get other people’s attention by shouting when someone is in another room, or you are upstairs once and a while. It becomes too much when you are standing right next to him or her, and your child is shouting as if you are 50 feet away!
Since children are learning how to use their vocal chords and what volume to use to get his or her needs met, here are some strategies to have them speak more softly.
Use an “inside voice” whenever you are in the house. Make sure that you speak in a voice volume range that isn’t too loud or too soft. Aim for somewhere in the middle. Instead of shouting requests and messages from downstairs, walk to the child. The child will follow that same action you modeled when he or she is far away and is trying to get your attention.
Make sure you listen to T.V., radio, and music from your Cd player in a certain “loudness range”. I cannot make you commit so a certain decibel volume, however if you notice that you and your children have to compete with or fight over the volume of the TV and music played, it is time to lower the electronic devices. Competing with loud volumes from TVs and radio is often a major reason why your child is unknowingly shouting in the first place.
Finally, point out to your child when he or she is shouting, instead of letting them continue to shout. When you speak, there is no need to whisper “you are shouting right now”, just use your normal voice volume to act like a “mirror” simply helping them to be aware of his or her volume. Just remember always stay calm!
In conclusion, also remember that your child is learning what to (and not to) pay attention to. Hold them accountable by using the steps below. Your child does have the capability to give you his or her full attention, just give the child 3-10 seconds to shift his/her attention to you first completely.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com
To Download My Brand New Ebook- “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…
Unleash The Parental Leader Within!
Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.
He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
Parenting Video by Tony Hawkins
Use the blue bulb from the hospital to clear babies nose
If you are a parent of more than one child you may find that sibling rivalry adds a great deal of stress to your life. And worse yet unfortunately, by allowing the process of sibling rivalry to work itself out, it adds additional stress to a parent’s life. The key to handling this as a parent is to be aware of the benefits of sibling rivalry and help your child enhance these skills in other positive and productive ways. Some of the skills to enhance the benefits and avoid the pitfalls of sibling rivalry are as follows: · Always use prevention as your best defense. Since most fighting is a way to draw your attention to them, try to short circuit that from happening in the first place. You will want to incorporate special time with each child. Try to set up schedules, stick to them and make yourself available to each of your kids. You can have your kids go on special outings with each parent and do different things with each child. · Give your kids a break from each other. If it is at all possible, separate your kids. It is important to let them have time alone while driving, at a friend’s house, visiting relatives, etc. Remember just like adults, kids need their own time and if they get cooped up in the same space for a long time they get irritated. · Everything is not about sharing. While sharing is an integral point of getting along, often fighting occurs because kids feel out of control. Have your child choose two or three things that are theirs and theirs alone. Put the items on a shelf or in a special box and make it known that these are items that they do not have to share. This way your child feels like he has some control over his things and may be much more likely to share other items with his siblings. · Always strive to appreciate your kids at all times. At certain times in life this can be more difficult (the teen years for one). Try to notice how often they get along without fighting. Pay special attention to their good qualities and what is unique about each child and remember that it’s their job to work things out, not yours. Remember your job as a parent is to be a role model, promote good feelings, open up clear lines of communication, develop mutual respect, and monitor your kids and their needs. · Teach your kids to develop problem-solving skills. You want to give your kids the guidelines and skills to solve problems for themselves. Problem solving skills are often one of the things many adults lack. You can ask each kid during a family meeting how he or she can get along better with their sibling. You will want to discuss what things they might need from the other and ways to brainstorm possible solutions to these problems. · Let go of the perfection expectations. As a parent you need to let go of your urge to worry and your expectation of being a perfect parent. The same thing goes for your kids. Despite all of your best efforts, if you have more than one child, prepare yourself that at some time they will fight and its o.k. It can also be important to learn how to roll with the punches and to ask yourself, “How big of a deal will this be in five years?” Learn how to enjoy life and laugh a little more and your kids will be better for it. Visit http://www.surfnetparents.com for more For more parenting advice and ideas.
Use the blue bulb from the hospital to clear babies nose
Help your kids get along
How to burb your kiddo
Playgroups are social gatherings with moms and their kids, that allow the kids to play with other children around their same age, and moms to socialize. They are often held at the park, or at someone’s home, and can be a lot of fun. Despite the fun involved and the fact that playgroups are sort of a rite of passage for mothers, there are some pitfalls. One of the pitfalls many mothers recognize with playgroups is that often it is more for the moms than it is for the kids. This often results in the moms socializing and the kids are not being watched as well. Many a parent has gone home from playgroup with a child who has a scratch, a bump, a diaper that has been dirty for a long time, etc. When the moms start talking, they tend to neglect their children. Even if you go as a mom who watches your child well, if other moms are not watching theirs, it can mean your kid gets hit or scratched by someone’s child, and they do not do anything about it. So, if you intend to go to a playgroup, try to find one where the moms will socialize, which is important, but watching kids is the first priority. Another of the common pitfalls of a playgroup is that it is a prime place for germs to spread. Basically, you can’t control whether or not another mom brings their kid to playgroup sick. In some cases, a mom will crave the social interaction so much that she won’t consider that her child has a cold, had the flu a few days before, or any other illness. This means that your child could be getting sick because someone else did not consider their child’s germs. Because the whole point of a playgroup is to get moms out of the house, and get kids interacting, it often leads to people coming no matter what, with sick kids, with ornery kids, etc. this is not a good situation to put your child into. So, there is a good chance your kid will be at risk. Obviously this is not always the case, and you can find good playgroups where everyone is really respectful of how their child’s health could affect your child’s. One of the biggest pitfalls of a playgroup is that your child is either going to thrive or drown, there is not much in between. Kids tend to gang up when in larger groups, and your child could be the one being picked on. The problem with playgroups is that generally some kids will thrive, and others will wilt. This is especially true of already shy children. So, if your child is not an aggressive personality, it could actually make them more introverted then they already are. Of course, in some instances a playgroup can help your child to blossom and open up because they are exposed to new things, but you will need to choose your playgroup carefully if you do not want to make your child even less social than they currently are. For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
How to burb your kiddo
Playgroups don’t always go well
Speak Softly – No stick needed
Speak Softly – No stick needed
Many times parents are concerned with how loud their child speaks when the child is talking to them. It can be especially challenging for parents to know what to do and how to do it when their child’s voice volume is just too loud!
Although it is common for children to get other people’s attention by shouting when someone is in another room, or you are upstairs once and a while. It becomes too much when you are standing right next to him or her, and your child is shouting as if you are 50 feet away!
Since children are learning how to use their vocal chords and what volume to use to get his or her needs met, here are some strategies to have them speak more softly.
Use an “inside voice” whenever you are in the house. Make sure that you speak in a voice volume range that isn’t too loud or too soft. Aim for somewhere in the middle. Instead of shouting requests and messages from downstairs, walk to the child. The child will follow that same action you modeled when he or she is far away and is trying to get your attention.
Make sure you listen to T.V., radio, and music from your Cd player in a certain “loudness range”. I cannot make you commit so a certain decibel volume, however if you notice that you and your children have to compete with or fight over the volume of the TV and music played, it is time to lower the electronic devices. Competing with loud volumes from TVs and radio is often a major reason why your child is unknowingly shouting in the first place.
Finally, point out to your child when he or she is shouting, instead of letting them continue to shout. When you speak, there is no need to whisper “you are shouting right now”, just use your normal voice volume to act like a “mirror” simply helping them to be aware of his or her volume. Just remember always stay calm!
In conclusion, also remember that your child is learning what to (and not to) pay attention to. Hold them accountable by using the steps below. Your child does have the capability to give you his or her full attention, just give the child 3-10 seconds to shift his/her attention to you first completely.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com
To Download My Brand New Ebook- “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…
Unleash The Parental Leader Within!
Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.
He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
15 minute bedtimes
15 minute bedtimes
Parents are always concerned with how to balance their role as parent and effectively raise happy, healthy, and respectful children. It can especially be challenging for a parent to know what to do and how to do it when your child has behavioral difficulties and he or she refuses to go to bed.
Although it is common for children to need about at least a 15 minute transition to get fully settled and ready for bed, some children take this time to act out and put unrealistic demands on his or her parents. He or she becomes “tyrant” like and needs 12 bedtime stories, 252 kisses, and he or she still will not let you leave the room.
Here are 3 strategies to handle bed time routines when you child takes more than 15-20 minutes to settle down and go to sleep.
The first one is to make sure that you give your child at least a 10 minute warning before going to bed. It is helpful to use the TV as a natural ending time. You can even let your children know ahead of time by saying “after this show it is bed-time”.
Second, after the show is over make sure you do not allow them chances to “get out” of going right away. Things like “I’m hungry, and I’m thirsty, or I have to go to the bathroom for a third time” can be legitimate request. However, it is best that the child doesn’t eat or drink anything at least 30-40 minutes before bed.
Finally, if you child insist on reading a story allow them to pick one or two stories. The total reading time for a child should be between 10-15 minutes. Longer reading times than that can cause power struggles and especially when they are afraid will be used as “ammunition” to keep you there.
In conclusion, also remember that your child tends to do what works. So the simplest way to change his or her difficult behavior during bed time is to not make his or her strategy work anymore.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com
To Download My Brand New eBook – “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…
Unleash The Parental Leader Within!
Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.
He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
How to burb your kiddo
How to bond with your family
How to bond with your family
Does your heart yearn for family relationships as good as those portrayed in the 1970s television series “The Brady Bunch”? Adults, teenagers and younger children getting along despite the occasional squabble. It seems idyllic, but is it attainable?
Many families spend much of their weekend time going to a variety of sporting events, while television and the internet provide much of their weekly entertainment. With all these activities, there doesn’t seem much time to build family unity.
While our hearts may desire quality time with our children, this often occurs when we simply spend quantity time with them. Vacations and other special activities are good, but a weekly time of family togetherness can accomplish great things. Family games nights can fulfill this aim.
As an example, our family sets Wednesday nights as a family games night. We have a special meal and then play games for an hour or two. While there are many commercial games you can purchase, such as Monopoly(R), you could also play a different game every week for a year using nothing more than a handful of dice and a deck of cards. We like to play some favourite games and also try some new ones.
During one of our games nights we played Pig, a simple dice game that is suitable for all the family, using just one die. (The plural for die is dice.) Each player throws the die and adds their score for each throw until they choose to stop or until they throw a One. If they stop before they throw a One, they keep their score and add it to their score from any previous rounds, with the aim of being the first player to reach fifty points. However, a throw of One cancels their score for that round and ends their turn.
As we played, two of my sons developed very different strategies. One son chose to stop if he got to ten points in any round while another son would try to score 50 points every round. He often scored well over thirty points before crashing back to zero as he threw a One. We had so much fun watching them play that we chose to continue scoring to 100 points. (By the way, neither son won the game in the end!)
Other activities are useful for building family unity but games have the advantage of allowing everyone to play together, no matter what their age. Indeed, it can be very amusing to see a teenager or adult being beaten by a six year old. As well as having fun and building relationships, children learn many life skills (such as reading and/or counting) and social skills (like communications and team work). That sounds like an ideal combination – education, fun and family!
Andrew owns Family Games Treasurehouse which has rules for over a hundred family games. Visit http://www.family-games-treasurehouse.com and sign up for our free newsletter to download our ebook, “25 Family Dice Games”. This article is copyright but may be freely republished provided the text, author credit, site links and this copyright notice remain intact.
Use the blue bulb from the hospital to clear babies nose